I’m sure there are plenty of people looking for some interesting ways to shake up your Christmas this year. I’m sure one of them is YOU. Remember when we couldn’t wait for Christmas? How we counted the days and minutes leading up to the most glorious day of the year? Times have changed. Fast forward to today and I’m sure most everybody can’t wait for Christmas to pass so we can get on with our lives. There is still a way to squeeze all the juice we can out of this year’s Christmas break.  

Never empty-handed, I come bearing gifts albeit, a few weeks early. Bare in mind, what I propose is unconventional, in intention at least. No good comes without some sacrifice; some just require less toil than others. These are intended to put you on the winning side of that exchange.  

I never would have thought movies like Scrooged, Christmas Vacation or especially Bad Santa would renew my Christmas spirit, but alas, I have a new found appreciation of the holiday that awaits us. I figured this was one holiday I wasn’t going to advocate for you to participate in an all-out Irish wake just to make your experience tolerable. The most important lesson I learned from Billy Bob, Chevy and Mr. Murray (aside from the fact that being cynically obscene, better yet obscenely cynical, creates comedic gold) is that the most important thing about Christmas is sharing with people you love…or at least, like a lot. These ideas are intended to make Christmas more than tolerable…fun, even. 

Every year we know what to expect. Every year we hope it will be different. Every year, it’s worse than we thought. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and we’re left to prepare our egos, our patience and our livers for the impending assault on our senses. The runny nose that we hoped would turn into bronchitis, pneumonia, or anything to excuse us from this year’s “festivities” cleared up over the weekend. So we journey home to dreading the onslaught of probing questions and long-winded conversations with people we love but don’t always like.

We open the door to greet our single aunt with six kids, newest boyfriend in tow. We listen to our uncle’s incessant chatter about his recent prostate exam, wondering how in the world he thinks people are interested in his plumbing. In the kitchen, our “quirky” (aka lively but alcoholic) grandmother is teaching our eight-year-old cousin the proper way to make the perfect martini. We watch as our mom flips out with every spilled drink, every piece of stuffing or cranberry sauce dropped, leading her to chase around other people’s toddlers with a napkin and cleaning spray.