When I was younger, all the kids in the neighborhood would spend the day riding bikes and frolicking in the summer air. We'd play a little baseball and throw things at the abandoned house down the street. Of course when we played baseball it wasn't in a deserted lot, nor did it share a fence with a giant dog called "The Beast". Looking back, it would've been more entertaining if it had.

I was watching TV the other night with my roommate and we came across The Sandlot. After the "oh man, I love this movie" and "yeah smalls" commentary, the inevitable question was raised - what ever happened to the team? It has been 15 years since the Sandlot touched our lives, now it's time to reconnect. Boosh spent the afternoon doing investigative reporting (i.e. Google) to find out just what happened to your favorite starting lineup.

Scotty Smalls

Actor Tom Guiry took the lead role in The Sandlot after only one appearance on a TV movie "A Place to Be Loved". Since the 'Lot', Tom was in a couple other films including 1994's Lassie and another baseball flick The Last Home Run. In 1999 at the age of 18, Scotty Smalls became a father. Guiry remains a steady actor, landing a huge role as the drug-laden Jimmy Donelly in the underrated and since cancelled NBC series The Black Donnelly's.

    We're quickly coming upon my favorite time of year. It isn't because of the constant football on TV or the fact that I look amazing in sweaters. In a few weeks, night will fall on college campuses and urban playgrounds nationwide, marking the beginning of a time honored tradition where skin hits the air and cleavage points to the heavens. Every girl 18 to married, hits the streets wearing less than they do on a beach with all intentions of drinking heavily and celebrating the holy day we know as All Hollows Eve.

    The actual history of the event has been altered overtime. Halloween, is of course, named after the Latin words Hallo, which means "total hos" and, Ween which roughly translates to "drunk and looking to score". I'm not a linguist, but I'm pretty sure this is correct. Wikipedia it.

    Though this isn't your childhood holiday of princesses and fairy queens, walking around suburban neighborhoods begging for treats. No, these are different times. The only treats these princesses are looking for include the words vodka, cranberry, and "it's on me". But it isn't just the aim of the evening, but the attire that is updated. You'll see more grown up takes on everything from bumblebees to witches. Nurses and prostitutes. I've never seen a bumblebee with fishnet stockings and I don't know what hospital that nurse works at, but I will gladly go under the knife if she leaves those top 5 buttons undone while on call.

    I know a lot of people are up in arms about this. That men take it the wrong way, this isn't every girl dressing as a prostitute for them. It is a night for young ladies to come out of their womanly shells and do things they will regret later in life if the pictures ever resurface. That's cool, girls – no one is trying to keep you from doing that. All we're asking is that that something crazy and ridiculous includes us underneath.

   Getting ass in college is easy. And for those fathers whose little girls are away at school, I'm not apologizing for stating the obvious. There is a line of males waiting outside your little girl's dorm room right now to see just how ho-ish her take on a Girl Scout is this year. And believe me. It is extremely ho-ish. I mean, I would buy her cookies.

   But I don't feel this is something we should condemn. I know the religious-freaks are going to be upset, but they're upset about everything. And I know after that last paragraph, the parents might not be too keen on their offspring slutting it up this Halloween either. But this is college. This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to go out there, make some questionable decisions, get a little crazy. Females inherently desire attention, hell, humans desire attention. Everyone wants to look good from time to time, and Halloween is the opportunity to be someone you usually aren't. Whether that be a giant banana or a witch that more resembles a late night call girl than a crooked nose, warted she-devil with flying monkeys is really up to you. Because no cleavage is too much, I say cleave it the hell out. No skirt too short – hike that up a couple inches more. It's just dignity! Look ridiculous, take the photos, tag the ones on Facebook where you don't look chubby and pale. This is Halloween, kids. Get crazy. Even the quietest, most unassuming librarian can be a sexy librarian with two undone buttons and a Sarah Palin smirk. So live it up, but make sure you score a change of clothes before heading home in the morning.

The festivities are currently in full swing over the pond in Munich to celebrate beer, weinerschnitzzle, and all other things Deutsch. But you don't want to miss out on all the fun either. We've got you covered. This weekend and next are bound to be exciting as American Oktoberfests kick off across the country – some of them are an easy walk from campus. So here are the five colleges that will be rocking with a boot in one hand and a Bavarian beauty in the other:


University of Wisconsin – Lacrosse

While their sister school in Madison usually gets all the attention, UW-LAX kids are able to compete at least one weekend a year with the big school festivities. This year marks the 48th anniversary of debauchery by the Mississippi which kicks off this Friday with a parade that weaves through downtown and ends in a park where they tap a Golden Keg. They even have a Miss Oktoberfest (picture). 175,000 people usually turning out, it is an awesome experience. Being the only one on the list I've been lucky enough to experience, I can safely say it is an event not to be missed if you have a car and a taste for October roadtripping. It takes place now until October 4th. But try and stay away from the Mississippi river – someone seems to fall in every year.

Check it here.


University of Alabama – Birmingham

When you think Alabama, you don't usually jump to German ancestory. But they're looking to prove you wrong with their annual Freunde Deutscher Sprache und Kultur Oktoberfest celebration where you can eat brats, chug beers, and chow on some apple strudels. Goes on next weekend (Oct 10-11), and they've been doing it since 1969 so there's a good chance you'll get the experience you're looking for.

Check it here.

Other Schools: Colorado, Oklahoma, Ohio State, UAB, Cinncinnatti, USC

n honor of the American man-fish that is Michael Phelps, we started thinking what it would be like to hang out with the Gold medal athlete. Maybe how awesome he would be on dry land, perhaps at the most collegiate of college settings: a keg party. If there's anything American Olympic athletes know how to do this year, it's celebrate. Here is why we think Phelps would destroy when it comes to a beer-infused coed get together:

Keg Stand

Fact: Michael Phelps breathes under water. When it comes to getting elevated and chugging from the tap, it's the need for air that stops even the most seasoned veterans from keeping the countdown going. If dolphin-boy stepped up to the plate, I could see him easily draining half the barrel without breaking a sweat. I hear that's how he warms up.

In a sport where small stature and tiny hands seems paramount, we're betting you $10 you can't go 7-for-7 for picking which members of the female gymnastics team heading to Beijing next month are legal and which ones are just going to get you in trouble.

Women's golf is no longer only appealing to fans of the LOGO network. In 2008, some of the premier female golfers are jaw-dropping hotties. 

With GTA 4 making a huge splash in the gaming world, Rockstar is already in developmental stages of their next game in the popular series. In an attempt to step a little further out of the New York city based landscape, they have a few ideas on the drawing board for new locales to spice it up some:


1. GTA Des Moines

Out of the city and into the cornfields, Rockstar is taking you on the rural rollercoaster that is central Iowa. Navigate your character, a drunken farmboy, on a whole slew of adventures through the six block cultural epicenter that is Des Moines and surrounding fields. Pick up farm girls for a late "drive by the lake" or drink face and shoot at shit from your car.

New Vehicles
John Deere Tractor
Pickup Truck w/ 10 ft CB Antennae

New Missions:
"Payback's a Bitch"
Old Mr. Reynolds owes your boss a cool two grand for last season's seeds and isn't coughing up. Send a message by sneaking onto his land and shoot his dog.

"Foot-lost"
Some of the locals have pushed you too far and challenged you to a game of tractor chicken. Beat them at their own game and then beat them up for challenging you to something as lame as tractor chicken.

Part 2 of the amazing look into Rockstar's new locations for the next game in the Grand Theft Auto series.

   What is the greatest holiday ever?

   It is probably the most debated topic in the history of the world. Christians say it's Christmas, Jews claim it's Passover, and French think it's Bastille Day - but everyone knows they're wrong. Wars have been fought over this very subject, lives lost, women conquered. But I'm here to set the record straight and let you in on a little secret, Holmes. The greatest holiday ever is this weekend. And it ain't Father's Day.

Flag Day is probably the most underrated day on the calendar. Coming in a close second to Boxing Day, which is the annual celebration of kicking the crap out of your family members the day after Christmas recognized widely in the UK.

Falling on June 14th, Flag Day has lost its true meaning over the years to a level of almost mediocre existence. It has become just another blurb on the calendar like Arbor Day and Administrative Assistance Appreciation Week. But it isn't just another Saturday… no my friends. It is the Saturday to end all Saturdays. Think about it this way:

  Summer is like a glorious night out on the town. Memorial Day kicks things off, sort of like the alarm clock that gets you off the couch and into the shower. You scrub the dirt of an entire winter off of your body, shotgun a beer, and prepare for a night of adventure and miracles. Drunk miracles.

Then, imagine July 4th as the pinnacle of your evening. You're feeling awesome, you're dancing with the hottest guy/girl/chair in the place, and explosives are readily available. Closely following is August, which is sort of your "let's go shot for shot with the backup offensive tackle"; a time when you pretty much overdo it and take everything six steps farther than socially acceptable.

For those of you who decided to cut the college fun-zone time off, we have some words for you.

    I’ve learned a lot of things in my past couple years here at the college level and sad to say most of them are completely non-academic in nature. I know that it takes 4½ minutes to make two packs of EasyMac in the microwave. I know that Monday is 35 cent wings at BW3s. That a power hour takes about 7 beers to complete and that the secret ingredient in Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch is an 8-ball of the Columbian Bam Bam.

    While these are all extremely important lessons, by far the greatest is that a student ID is like a get out of jail free card. Simply flashing the card not only allows you to pass GO, but you can collect that fat $200 and charge the fucking thimble rent when he lands on Pennsylvania Ave. One screw up and the response will inevitably be: Oh, it’s ok, he’s in college. Adults expect college students to run into some good drunken trouble once in a while. Why, you may ask? Simple, they all wish they could go back there. They will live vicariously through your hookups and beer bongs and laugh about it. You really can do anything short of killing someone and it turns into a huge joke.

     When I was a freshman, it was how I bought food and books. Now it gets me on the city buses for free, half off haircuts, and access to every building on campus if I act like I know what I’m doing. I have no reason to be in the primate lab, but swipe the student ID and I can spend the rest of the afternoon taunting chimpanzees. Even if I was to get caught, I’d just have to show the ID card and the police and I would all have a good laugh and then go burn through the streets, sirens blaring, and Def Leppard blaring over the stereo.