Every year we know what to expect. Every year we hope it will be different. Every year, it’s worse than we thought. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and we’re left to prepare our egos, our patience and our livers for the impending assault on our senses. The runny nose that we hoped would turn into bronchitis, pneumonia, or anything to excuse us from this year’s “festivities” cleared up over the weekend. So we journey home to dreading the onslaught of probing questions and long-winded conversations with people we love but don’t always like.

We open the door to greet our single aunt with six kids, newest boyfriend in tow. We listen to our uncle’s incessant chatter about his recent prostate exam, wondering how in the world he thinks people are interested in his plumbing. In the kitchen, our “quirky” (aka lively but alcoholic) grandmother is teaching our eight-year-old cousin the proper way to make the perfect martini. We watch as our mom flips out with every spilled drink, every piece of stuffing or cranberry sauce dropped, leading her to chase around other people’s toddlers with a napkin and cleaning spray.
 

Admission: an open-mind. Okay, and maybe a couple extra bucks.

According to recent studies that I have completely fabricated to have the appearance of an expert analysis,100 fake people were asked what they thought of when they heard the phrase “college student," and 84 replied “cheap beer”.

Those condescending, make-believe bastards!

The truth is that college students are at least one of the following (usually both): broke and looking to get drunk. Naturally—no pun intended— this would lead the poor saps purchasing and consuming the usually suspects in bulk; Natural Light, Keystone Light, Milwaukee’s Best— most of which bear very fun nicknames and the option of an Ice version.

And you know what, who can blame you? A lot of the time, you’re buying beer for a party (i.e. Other people are drinking the booze anyhow). But what I suggest isn’t to go and buy the good brew for ragers, keggers or whatever the hell they’re being called in your time zone. I’m calling for a change in your beverage for those little urges that you refuse to call alcoholism. You know, you’re bored in your apartment and nothing’s going on. Wouldn’t it be great to have a couple of worthwhile, craft brews to savor and enjoy? Well, here are a few easy steps toward becoming what I would like to refer to as “Beer Conscious”.


Step One:
Try everything you can get your hands on.

There are hundreds of what the Beer Conscious know as Beer Styles out there. Trying out different breweries’ takes on different styles will allow you to figure out what you have a taste for. The best advice that I can give you in this aspect would be to not blow off a style of beer after only having it once or twice. You may hate Green Flash’s West Coast IPA [India Pale Ale] and love Dogfish Head’ 60 Minute IPA. Moreover, you may hate them both upon tasting them, but then grow to appreciate them and eventually the style itself after gaining an understanding of what the brewer was going for when they created the recipe.
 

    It’s happened to everybody at one point or another. Good times are being had by all and like a gunshot, the anticipated first sip of a beer brings even the happy-go-luckiest of beer drinkers to their knees as they exclaim a seven-letter word that is worth a four-letter word in its own right: “Skunked!”

    However, the proclamation is currently in an abusive relationship with those who don’t know any better. For instance, did you know that cans of beer cannot ever possibly become skunked? Also, did you know that beer going from chilled to warm to chilled also has nothing to do with skunked beer? That is more a matter of oxidation that can also lend unpleasant flavors. For example, beer left in the trunk of a car in the blistering sun of a record-setting July day is certainly a great way to add wet cardboard flavors caused by oxidation. However, that is certainly not how beer becomes skunked.

    Firstly, I feel it imperative to explain exactly why the condition of perished beer is called skunked beer. Skunked beer is scientifically known as light-struck beer. Hops, one of beer’s four main ingredients, is a flower that contains a molecule called “isohumulones”. These molecules, when broken down, are susceptible to merge with sulfur components in the beer to help accentuate that smells that reminds you of a skunk’s spray. In fact, the makeup of this final result is pretty similar to the exact liquid that comes out of the skunk’s ass. Cheers!