We're quickly coming upon my favorite time of year. It isn't because of the constant football on TV or the fact that I look amazing in sweaters. In a few weeks, night will fall on college campuses and urban playgrounds nationwide, marking the beginning of a time honored tradition where skin hits the air and cleavage points to the heavens. Every girl 18 to married, hits the streets wearing less than they do on a beach with all intentions of drinking heavily and celebrating the holy day we know as All Hollows Eve.

    The actual history of the event has been altered overtime. Halloween, is of course, named after the Latin words Hallo, which means "fine ladies" and, Ween which roughly translates to "drunk and looking to score". I'm not a linguist, but I'm pretty sure this is correct. Wikipedia it.

    Though this isn't your childhood holiday of princesses and fairy queens, walking around suburban neighborhoods begging for treats. No, these are different times. The only treats these princesses are looking for include the words vodka, cranberry, and "it's on me". But it isn't just the aim of the evening, but the attire that is updated. You'll see more grown up takes on everything from bumblebees to witches. Nurses and prostitutes. I've never seen a bumblebee with fishnet stockings and I don't know what hospital that nurse works at, but I will gladly go under the knife if she leaves those top 3 buttons undone while on call.

    I know a lot of people are up in arms about this. That men take it the wrong way, that the new attire isn't a call to street corners. It is a night for young ladies to come out of their womanly shells and do things they will regret later in life if the pictures ever resurface. That's cool, girls – no one is trying to keep you from doing that. All we're asking is that that something crazy and ridiculous includes us underneath.

   Getting a little some-some in college is easy. And for those fathers whose little girls are away at school, I'm not apologizing for stating the obvious. There is a line of males waiting outside your little girl's dorm room right now to see just how ho-ish her take on a Girl Scout is this year. And believe me. It is extremely ho-ish. I mean, I would buy her cookies.

   But I don't feel this is something we should condemn. I know the religious-freaks are going to be upset, but they're upset about everything. And I know after that last paragraph, the parents might not be too keen on their offspring slutting it up this Halloween either. But this is college. This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to go out there, make some questionable decisions, get a little crazy. Females inherently desire attention, hell, humans desire attention. Everyone wants to look good from time to time, and Halloween is the opportunity to be someone you usually aren't. Whether that be a giant banana or a witch that more resembles a late night call girl than a crooked nose, warted she-devil with flying monkeys is really up to you. Because no cleavage is too much, I say cleave it the hell out. No skirt too short – hike that up a couple inches more. It's just dignity! Look ridiculous, take the photos, tag the ones on Facebook where you don't look chubby and pale. This is Halloween, kids. Get crazy. Even the quietest, most unassuming librarian can be a sexy librarian with two undone buttons and a Sarah Palin smirk. So live it up, but make sure you score a change of clothes before heading home in the morning.

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